Republicans Confident Americans Will Choose Corruption, Cruelty, and Poverty Over Pronouns
After spending two years watching a corrupt collection of billionaires, bigots, religious zealots, and intellectually bankrupt bootlickers strip-mine their country for personal profit, Americans are preparing to decide whether the problem is actually that Democrats are too woke.
Republicans are campaigning on their proven record of enriching billionaires, dismantling public institutions, and convincing struggling Americans that immigrants are somehow responsible for their problems.Democrats, meanwhile, are offering the radical alternative of occasionally acknowledging those problems exist.Political analysts warn that abandoning the current administration could threaten years of progress in turning the world’s richest democracy into a privately owned grievance factory.
Republican strategists remain confident, noting that millions of voters would rather lose their healthcare, savings, and constitutional rights than risk a transgender teenager feeling accepted.
At press time, undecided voters said they needed more information before choosing between the death of American democracy and a Democrat who once used the wrong pronoun.
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