“Pope Leo, what a disgrace” Trump threatens War on Vatican Over Pope’s JD Vance Tweet
In a move that shocked world leaders and theologians alike, former President Donald Trump today threatened war on the Vatican, citing “unbelievably disrespectful” comments made by the recently elected Pope Leo XIV on Twitter about former Ohio Senator JD Vance.
“Pope Leo, what a disgrace,” Trump tweeted early this morning, minutes before re-posting a series of memes comparing the pontiff to a Dollar Store Santa. “He calls JD Vance a ‘man of few virtues, but many opinions’? This is a total attack on the MAGA movement. No pope has ever been so mean, so nasty. Frankly, it’s sad.”
The conflict reportedly began when the Pope, a former Jesuit who once tended on social media for refusing to meet Kanye West, tweeted that Vance’s recent book on American resilience “had the theological depth of a motivational fridge magnet.” In response, Trump launched what he’s calling “Operation Holy Smokes,” vowing to “Make the Vatican Great Again.”
Pentagon insiders confirmed that Trump has already commissioned a fleet of gold-plated, cross-shaped drones to “show Rome who’s boss.” Meanwhile, the Swiss Guard reportedly began training with nunchucks and espresso-fueled adrenaline chants.
As the world braces for the first holy war waged over a Twitter (currently known as X) beef, both sides are calling for divine intervention – or at least a well-timed WiFi outage.
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