In a stunning act of political theater that surprised no one and yet disappointed everyone, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) has officially broken ranks with the Republican Party — by metaphorically stabbing it in the back, front, and possibly spleen.
After weeks of public tantrums, conspiracy-laced tirades, and threats to “primary the ghost of Reagan,” Greene declared herself a “one-woman freedom force,” immediately filing paperwork to form a new caucus: the America First But Also Last Alliance (AFBALA).
“She’s like if Alex Jones had a congressional badge and no impulse control,” sighed one exhausted GOP aide. “At this point, we’re just hoping she forgets her keycard.”
Greene reportedly plans to introduce legislation banning facts, impeaching wind turbines, and replacing Congress with “a vibes-based tribunal.”
When asked for comment, Speaker Mike Johnson simply whispered, “She’s your problem now,” and walked into traffic.
