In a surprise livestream punctuated by awkward memes and a Tesla Cyberwhistle solo, Elon Musk unveiled his latest venture: the creation of a new political entity called the “America Party.”
“The two-party system is outdated,” Musk declared, flanked by a taxidermied bald eagle and a flamethrower. “We need a party that’s pro-freedom, pro-innovation, and pro-dogecoin.”
The America Party, he explained, will prioritize “hyperlooping past partisanship” and replacing Congress with a decentralized blockchain DAO. Party membership comes with a complimentary Neuralink trial and 10% off SpaceX Mars tickets.
Critics note Musk’s previous attempts at world-changing systems—like self-driving cars and Twitter moderation—haven’t exactly gone to plan. But supporters are already lining up, citing Musk’s unique ability to “disrupt democracy.”
When asked about a platform, Musk grinned: “We’ll crowdsource it on X. Democracy 2.0, baby.”
Analysts warn this may finally be the merger of tech bro utopianism and American decline.
