Canada, the world’s second-largest country by land and first in maple syrup smugness, has a long, complex history best summarized as “Oops, sorry.”
Originally home to thriving Indigenous civilizations, things took a turn when Europeans showed up with muskets, smallpox, and very little shame. The British and French politely fought over the place until they got tired and just decided to share, resulting in a country where your milk comes in bags and everything has to be printed twice.
Canada’s birth in 1867 was less a revolution and more a bureaucratic shrug. Since then, it’s managed to conquer the world diplomatically with hockey, Tim Hortons, and passive-aggressive foreign policy. Meanwhile, its national identity remains a mystery, somewhere between a flannel shirt and a healthcare card.
Today, Canada remains a beacon of democracy, diversity, and deep winter depression. But hey — at least we’re not America. Sorry.
From all of us at BSN we hope everyone has a Happy, and safe, Canada Day!
