Billionaire Cage Match of Egos Elon Musk and Donald Trump’s Bromance Implodes again
In today’s episode of “Who Can Yell Louder at a Mirror,” tech messiah Elon Musk and ex-president-turned-Fortune-Cookie-writer Donald Trump have officially ended their fragile alliance in a blaze of badly spelled tweets and press release tantrums.
It began with Musk calling Trump’s recent promise to bring back coal-powered Wi-Fi “prehistoric performance art.” Trump retaliated by calling Musk a “space alien communist with failing cars and failing hair.” Musk then threatened to launch a Tesla into Trump Tower – again – “for aerodynamic testing.”
Insiders claim the fallout started when Musk declined Trump’s request to become “Supreme Tech Warlord” in a possible second administration. Musk reportedly counter-offered to make Trump “VP of Mars,” which Trump mistook as a promotion until he realized it didn’t come with beachfront property.
Their public squabble has thrilled their mutual fanbases, who now must choose between a man who wants to implant chips in your brain and one who still thinks windmills cause cancer.
Meanwhile, Jeff Bezos has been seen sipping champagne from orbit, whispering, “Let them fight.”
Analysts predict this feud will end in either a pay-per-view fistfight or a shared NFT collection called Griftlords.
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