“Didn’t We Try This Already?” Nation Asks as Conservatives Tap Andrew Scheer (Again)
In a plot twist only a political sitcom writer could love, the Conservative Party has chosen Andrew Scheer—yes, that Andrew Scheer—as their interim Opposition leader. Canadians everywhere are dusting off 2019-era jokes and asking, “Wait, wasn’t he… already…?”
After Pierre Poilievre lost his seat in parliament in last Tuesday’s Federal Election the Conservative Party turned to Scheer, apparently deciding that re-running a lukewarm sequel was safer than greenlighting a new disaster. “He’s reliable,” said one Conservative MP, who asked not to be named. “He’s like toast—no one’s excited about it, but at least it won’t set the kitchen on fire….Maybe”
Scheer, who once famously declared victory in 2019 despite clearly losing, returned to the podium with the same energy of a substitute teacher who knows the class doesn’t respect him but hopes they’ll at least fake it. “I’m honoured to serve,” he said, wearing his signature nervous half-smile. “Again.”
Reactions have been mixed. Liberal strategists are reportedly “delighted,” while NDP officials have simply been emailing each other the clown emoji. Twitter, meanwhile, has revived the hashtag #ScheerMadness, with some users wondering if Canada’s Conservative Party is stuck in a political time loop.
Asked if this is just a temporary measure until the party figures out what it actually stands for, a senior Tory replied: “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
In unrelated news, Maxime Bernier was seen furiously Googling “how to stage a comeback.”
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