GOP Unveils New Slogan: ‘Don’t Judge Trump Till You Walk a Sig Mile in His Shoes’
In a bold, baffling, and bullet-riddled turn of phrase, top Republican leaders have rallied behind Donald Trump amid his ongoing legal saga with a new slogan: “Don’t Judge Trump Till You Walk a Sig Mile in His Shoes.”
The slogan, unveiled at a press conference held in front of a Bass Pro Shops megastore, is reportedly meant to emphasize empathy for Trump’s legal and moral journey. “People love to criticize, but have you ever tried juggling hush money, indictments, golf scores, and the nuclear codes while wearing $3,000 loafers?” asked Senator Ron Fist (R-KY), adjusting his red, white, and subtly camouflaged tie.
Critics were quick to note the phrase’s oddly specific twist on the old proverb. “Is a ‘Sig Mile’ the distance you walk while heavily armed and under federal surveillance?” mused one late-night host. Others wondered whether the slogan refers to Sig Sauer firearms, a favorite among GOP donors, or just a typo by a tired intern with a Freudian keyboard.
The Republican National Committee has already begun selling custom sneakers—gold-plated, of course—bearing the phrase on the soles. “We’re taking steps in his shoes, literally,” said Congresswoman Linda Boom (R-TX), holding a high-heeled Glock-branded pump.
Meanwhile, Democrats issued a brief statement: “We’re just going to let this one marinate.”
As Trump faces yet another court date, one thing’s clear: his party may not walk the walk, but they’re absolutely committed to marketing the mile.
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