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Trump’s Bedtime Reader Apparently Reaches Anti-Press Chapters Of Mein Kampf

Trump’s Bedtime Reader Apparently Reaches Anti-Press Chapters Of Mein Kampf

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President Donald Trump announced Friday that CNN, MS NOW and Politico are banned from the White House suggesting whoever reads his favorite book, Mein Kampf, to him at bedtime has finally reached the chapters without pictures.

Trump accused the outlets of publishing “fake news,” but provided no examples, apparently operating under the longstanding presidential doctrine that evidence is something journalists need.

Sources confirmed the President became increasingly agitated during storytime after learning authoritarianism works considerably better when reporters aren’t constantly writing down what you do.

The White House insisted Trump isn’t afraid of a free press.

He just wants to decide which press is free.

And once nobody is allowed inside to report what the government is doing, Americans can finally enjoy the unprecedented transparency of being told absolutely nothing.