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‘Study Finds Nearly Half of Young Men Have Never Approached a Woman, Civilization Inches Closer to Collapse

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In a new study that will shock absolutely no one who’s been to a college party lately, researchers found that 45% of men aged 19 to 25 have never approached a woman in person.

The study cites fear of rejection, anxiety, and “women existing in high-definition” as leading factors. Sociologists warn this could mark the slow extinction of the traditional pick-up line, which will now only be found in dusty history books and old episodes of Friends.

One participant, 23, explained: “Why risk real-life humiliation when I can just like her Instagram story and hope she notices?”

Experts predict that if trends continue, by 2035 all romantic interactions will take place entirely via memes and dating apps, with marriage proposals delivered through DoorDash.

“Rome didn’t fall in a day,” said one researcher. “It fell in unread DMs.”



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