Scientists at the International Fusion Institute are celebrating what they call “an historic leap” after managing to sustain a reaction for 43 seconds longer than ever before—pushing humanity terrifyingly close to unlocking limitless energy and, with it, its own annihilation.
“This is a triumph for science,” said Dr. Elena Ruiz, moments before admitting under her breath that “the safeguards probably won’t hold once we crack 45 seconds.”
The breakthrough means Earth is now only a handful of test runs away from creating a self-sustaining energy loop so powerful it could vaporize the atmosphere “by accident.” Oil executives, once nervous, now cheer the scientists on. “Why worry about climate change when these nerds will nuke the planet for free?” quipped one.
As celebrations erupted in the lab, a single warning light blinked red: ‘Containment integrity at 2%.’ Humanity is now 43 seconds closer to endless power—or an endless void.
