After a live streamed video game from his private jet to his private island, Elon Musk has taken a hard stance against anyone cyber bullying Elon Musk. “It just feels so bad when people are mean to me, and as the richest person, I should never feel bad” said Musk, clutching a security blanket. “Like, I don’t know if anyone has ever felt bad before but I personally don’t like it. It’s the opposite of eating dinosaur eggs” explained Musk as he launched a missile at an orphanage. “I think that if we all work together we can stop people Cyber Bullying me once and for all”.
Elon, who pretended to be good at a video game so people would pretend to like him for his skills, rather than pretending to like him for his money, showed his softer side as he wept like an orphan pulled from the wreckage of their former home so callously destroyed in the name of government progress. He’s decided to launch a new government program called Everyone Loves Oligarchs Now (ELON) and divert money away from food banks, mental health programs, and existing anti-cyberbullying measures, in order to finally put an end to this problem that affects everybody.
