In a move that surprised no one except Jeff Bezos’ robot butler, Amazon has agreed to cough up $2.5 billion to settle Federal Trade Commission allegations that it tricked millions into joining its Prime subscription service. Regulators said customers often found themselves signed up after clicking on what they thought was “No, thanks,” which in Amazon’s secret internal code apparently meant “Yes, forever.”
As part of the settlement, Amazon promised to make Prime cancellations “slightly less like a hostage negotiation.” However, leaked documents reveal the new process may still require customers to solve a riddle, locate a hidden scroll, and sacrifice two hours of their weekend.
Oddly enough, some Americans are reporting they’ve already been enrolled in the settlement payout plan, without consent. “I got an email saying I now have Prime Refund+ for $9.99 a month,” said one baffled customer. “At this point, I’m just impressed.”
