In what can only be described as science’s weirdest flex yet, researchers announced they’re a step closer to enabling humans to breathe through their rectums. The breakthrough, inspired by certain fish and turtles, could allow people to absorb oxygen through their intestinal lining – a development that has the medical community cautiously optimistic and the rest of humanity deeply uncomfortable.
The research team insists this could revolutionize emergency medicine, though critics suggest it might just revolutionize humiliation. “If this works, we could save lives during respiratory failure,” one scientist said, while another admitted, “It’s hard to say ‘rectal ventilation’ without laughing.”
Early prototypes reportedly involve “oxygen-rich enemas,” a phrase destined to haunt scientific literature forever. Still, the project continues – proof that, for all our technological advances, humanity remains determined to explore every possible way to make existence just a little weirder.
