In what police are calling “either cinematic genius or total lunacy,” the Louvre Museum in Paris was forced to close indefinitely after masked thieves reportedly broke in early Sunday morning using a chainsaw. Authorities say the group bypassed every alarm and guard by “being extremely loud and French about it.”
The culprits made off with what officials described as “priceless” jewelry from a temporary exhibit on royal adornments. Curators are now debating whether “priceless” means “worth millions” or “so cursed no one ever insured it.”
Witnesses say the gang wore matching berets and shouted “Vive l’art libre!” while escaping on electric scooters. French police, known for their patience and coffee breaks, have vowed to pursue the thieves “as soon as the café reopens.”
Tourists gathered outside the museum’s locked doors expressed disappointment, with one American remarking, “We came for culture, but I guess true art was the getaway.”
