In a bold departure from traditional donation drives, the Bjerglund Wildlife Park has issued a plea for locals to consider donating their unwanted pets, not for adoption, but for the dinner plates of its carnivorous residents.
“We’re not monsters,” insisted zookeeper Lars Mikkelsen. “We just think Mittens the cat could finally serve a higher purpose, as a light snack for our underfed lions.”
The zoo cited rising meat prices and budget cuts as reasons for the initiative, dubbed “From Couch to Carnivore.” While critics have condemned the move as “disturbing,” the park says it’s received “several goldfish and at least one particularly bitey chihuahua.”
“Let’s be honest,” said Mikkelsen. “You weren’t really going to rehome that snake your ex left behind.”
The zoo promises humane handling of all donations and offers a small plaque near the feeding zone: “In loving memory of Pickles. He was crunchy.”
