Top 10 League of Legends Champs That Subtly Announce You’ve Never Known the Touch of Another
In today’s age of hyper-personal branding, your League of Legends main says more about you than your dating profile ever could. While Riot Games insists that every champ is “viable,” some choices scream louder than a Reddit thread titled “Why Real Women Are Mid-Tier At Best.” Here are the top 10 champs that double as celibacy declarations:
10. Singed – You’ve rejected society, and society thanks you.
9. Ezreal – You styled your prom outfit after his splash art. You didn’t go to prom.
8. Zoe – FBI open up.
7. Ahri – Fox girl. Enough said.
6. Rakan (without Xayah) – We get it. You’re lonely.
5. Viego – You romanticize toxic relationships, especially the one with your KDA.
4. Master Yi – One hand on the mouse. The other? We don’t want to know.
3. Lux – You say you’re “just vibing,” but we see those missed bindings and desperate thirst in All Chat.
2. Yasuo – “0/10 but it’s my team’s fault.” You haven’t touched grass since Season 5.
1. Teemo – You don’t want to win. You want others to suffer. Especially your teammates. Especially your parents
Experts agree: nothing says “chronic maidenless” quite like maining a champ that makes everyone groan in champ select.
GG.
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