Russian intelligence agents frustrated after spending millions manufacturing grievances Alberta conservatives already invented
Russian intelligence officials are reportedly reconsidering their foreign interference budget after discovering Alberta separatists have been enthusiastically spreading Kremlin talking points without receiving a single ruble.
“We spent millions developing sophisticated disinformation networks,” explained one frustrated Russian operative. “Turns out we could’ve just started a Facebook group and blamed Trudeau.”
According to researchers, Russian propaganda networks have amplified claims that Ottawa is systematically robbing Albertans, apparently unaware that conservative politicians have been successfully marketing this exact bullshit for decades.
“We’re honestly impressed,” admitted another operative. “They’ve convinced people that living in one of the wealthiest provinces on Earth constitutes political persecution.”
Meanwhile, Alberta separatist organizers dismissed concerns about foreign manipulation, insisting their movement is entirely grassroots. “Russia doesn’t tell us what to think,” explained the organizer, before repeating precisely what Russia wanted Canadians to think.
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