Albertans voting to escape Ottawa’s bureaucracy defeated by significantly smaller bureaucracy
Alberta’s independence movement demonstrated its readiness to establish a sovereign nation this week after more than 3,000 referendum ballots were invalidated because voters failed to properly complete the paperwork.
The errors include missing declarations and identification problems, minor administrative hurdles compared with the separatist movement’s considerably simpler plan to divide a G7 country, negotiate borders, treaties, debt, pensions and trade agreements, and somehow keep the Flames in the NHL.
Premier Danielle Smith’s government has assured Albertans the referendum will finally settle the province’s constitutional future, presumably once everyone masters Step One: signing the form.
Elections Alberta says voters can still correct their mistakes by email.
Separatists immediately denounced this as federal interference after spending 45 minutes trying to attach a PDF.
Nationhood is expected shortly after somebody’s grandson comes over and shows them how.